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Destiny brought two strangers together, forging a friendship, building a support system and eventually launching a business partnership. For Kay Cooper of Westmont and Starr Durham of Franklin Borough, breast cancer was the common bond that forever connected the women.
“We were connected even before we had cancer,” Durham said as she spoke of their friendship.
“God made it what it is and tied us together,” Cooper agreed.
But before finding the cloud’s silver lining in regard to their battle, there was a storm to weather.
That storm hit in January 1998, when Cooper discovered a lump during her routine monthly self-breast examination.
A family history of cancer led Cooper to believe that one day, she would hear the devastating diagnosis. Her father died in 1983 from kidney cancer and her mother died in 1993 of colon cancer.
“I just knew,” Cooper said. “I wasn’t surprised. I buried both my parents because of cancer.”
Prior to discovering the lump, Cooper experienced some symptoms that many often dismissed. There is a misconception pain is not associated with breast cancer. Cooper admits her pain confused her because this type of pain is often associated with pre-menstrual symptoms, not cancer.
“It was an aching pain, not a sharp pain,” she said.
On St. Patrick’s Day 1998, Cooper had a lumpectomy and 34 lymph nodes were removed – all found to be thankfully free of cancer. Her diagnosis – end stage two, breast cancer.
Six weeks of radiation followed along with five years on Tamoxifen.
That same year across town, Durham was gearing up for the battle of her life.
A self-breast examination proved to be a lifesaver, when she discovered her lump in July. Immediately, she knew she was in trouble.
A biopsy was performed and cancer confirmed. When her lumpectomy was performed, lymph nodes were removed and tested positive. This translated into stage four cancer.
Although there was not a history of the hereditary cancer, Durham feared she would one day have it. She already had been devastated by cancer when her father lost his battle with lung cancer.
“I never asked why me,” Durham said. “I just prepared to fight.”
Unfortunately, Durham had additional health issues that made her treatment more difficult. Her red and white blood counts were very low. Before doctors could aggressively fight the cancer, her body had to be prepared for the fight, which included frequent blood transfusions and shots to up her white blood count.
“My cancer was discovered in July,” she said. “I didn’t begin chemotherapy until October because they had to build me up. The original biopsy showed a dime-size tumor. By the time the surgery took place, it had grown to the size of a quarter.”
Durham’s treatment ravaged her body. She was weak, sick and had to quit her job. At one point, her 5’7” frame weighed only 97 lbs.
The love of her husband, three children and 8-year-old granddaughter kept the fight in her.
Once she became stronger, Durham found strength in the form of a support group sponsored by the Cancer Caring Center of Pittsburgh, The Community Foundation for the Alleghenies and the Conemaugh Health System. There a lifelong friendship was formed.
“I was able to talk to women who lived it,” Cooper said. “There are things that are shared in our group that are so common to one another. The similarities are a blessing. We’ve had the same symptoms and emotions.”
The women’s battle with breast cancer has made them the best of friends. They’ve walked in each other’s shoes and understand each other’s thoughts, fears and aspirations.
The two friends carry one message of hope for all who are who are forced to fight the fight.
“We want the world to know,” Cooper said, then Dunham finished her thought, “there is life after cancer.”
Breast Cancer
Related Photos
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Kay Cooper (seated) and Starr Durham are seen in Cooper’s kitchen with several varieties of biscottis they make and sell. John Rucosky
Discussion
‘We were connected’
Survivors forge friendship through breast cancer experience
- Breast Cancer
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