By ROBIN L. QUILLON
I truly envy people such as Somerset resident John McClintock. As we reported Aug. 23, John started tinkering with energy-saving devices at home more than a year ago and found something that will save him about $600 a year in natural gas – solar heating panels.
Most of the parts came from the local hardware store.
He said his first try failed. But he kept at it, and it looks like the second time around is a winner.
What impresses me most is his ability to do it himself. I bet a dollar to a doughnut that he is also an accomplished handyman, capable of fixing his own cars and plumbing, and handling any other household challenge that comes along. I’ll bet he actually enjoys the “honey-do” list.
John, your success makes it hard on us poor bums who cannot impress our wives with our handyman-ness. Please do us a favor and stop being so good at doing it yourself.
The story also talked about his experiment with a hydrogen generator on his vehicle. Now that was just showing off, John!
Look, the next time a reporter calls you, please – for the love of Mike – do us do-it–yourself-challenged men a favor, and say “No comment.” Remember, our wives are reading this stuff and you are making us look like wimps.
My father, brothers and even my sister have the do–it–yourself gene. Every one of them can do home projects like the pros.
Not long ago, my sister (her husband is brilliant computer programmer, but is also do-it-yourself challenged) remodeled her master bathroom.
Folks, I am talking installing new sinks, a new tub and a new tile floor, and re-tiling the shower with fancy inlayed designs. It looks like a professional contractor did it.
My wife and I were given the grand tour. I hung my head in shame as my sister told us all about what she did and how she did it. She talked about tools she used and all that stuff.
She knows I am challenged, and I believe she was rubbing it in. I think she is getting back at me for accidentally blowing up her favorite Barbie doll with firecrackers when we were kids.
To throw salt into the wound, she pointed out a small flaw in tiled corner. Nobody saw the flaw; she was just poking at her dear old brother. She even, behind my wife’s back, winked at me and gave me the old Groucho Marx eyebrow lift look. I mouthed the words, “Thanks a lot!”
My wife periodically looked over at me and said, “Honey wouldn’t this be great to do in our bathroom?”
I wanted to smack my sister after she said, “It’s easy to do, Robin, and I will help you if you want.” She again winked at me.
I believe part of the fault for my situation lies with the manufacturers of the tools. For example, why do they have to name it Skill Saw this and Craftsman that? That puts a lot of pressure on a guy. It’s not fair, and I believe it’s discriminatory in nature.
So thank you very much, John, for being so good at doing it yourself. I hope you realize that your success puts undue pressure on us do-it-yourself-challenged men. My honey-do list is complicated enough without your help.
Robin L. Quillon is the publisher of The Tribune-Democrat. He can be reached at 532-5111.
