I slept through New Year’s Eve.
Not New Year’s. New Year’s Eve.
That’s the difference between then and now. When you’re younger, you sleep off New Year’s. Later on, you sleep through New Year’s Eve.
Some would call it no life. I prefer to call it maturity. But don’t tell anyone.
Actually, that’s the reason I didn’t go out and celebrate.
The reason I didn’t stay in and celebrate was Dick Clark.
For decades, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” was, well, rockin’.
He’d do the Times Square ball drop live in the chilly air.
He’d introduce the Captain and Toenail, FrenchKISS or Huey Lewis’ News.
Everybody would be honored to step onto the platform with Dick. He was a rock ’n’ roll icon.
“I haven’t seen a performance like that since Chubby Checker in ’62,” he’d proclaim.
All the millions of viewers at home would marvel at how he never ages.
Now, he’s still an icon.
Rock and roll, not so much.
Never ages? Another urban legend shattered.
At the risk of sounding insensitive – it’s never stopped me before – it’s time to, umm, pull the plug on Dick Clark’s appearance on New Year’s Eve television.
No, don’t pull the plug on Dick himself. He serves as a useful reminder on the dangers of cholesterol-clogged arteries.
Just disinvite him from televised appearances. He’s a big boy; he can take it.
I got my fill on New Year’s Eve 2007 and was sure that frightful appearance would be the end.
As the ball dropped, cohost Ryan Seacrest said from the chill air, “Now, let’s go to our studios and hear from the one, the only, the legendary, American Bandstand’s Dick Clark.”
Out with the old. In with the older.
ABC didn’t catch on and the struggling Clark, no doubt propped up with a broomstick inside his shirt, returned again this year.
Don’t send me cards, letters and e-mail about how I’ll get old some day. I feel like I’m already there.
I don’t mean to be mean-spirited. I really don’t. It’s like bad-tasting medicine, ABC: It’s for your own good.
And I wish Dick the best in retirement. In retirement – not on TV on New Year’s Eve. He’s perfectly fine for the “Bandstand” retrospective show.
ABC, not wanting to hurt Dick’s feelings, instead chose to subject millions of Americans to Clark for another year.
Yeah, that balances out: The feelings of one multimillionaire versus the downer being subjected on tens of millions of viewers already struggling through a recession. Clark didn’t invent New Year’s, after all, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t invent the tele.
Next year, I look forward to again celebrating New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Rhianna, Coldplay or whoever the kids dance to today.
And as I listen to the jumpin’ jive of Will.i.am, I’ll remember a simpler, more innocent time.
Dick Clark, ageless and virile in my mind, would shout at the top of his lungs along with guest hosts Suzanne Somers and Phil Collins, “Happy New Year!”
A festive New Year’s leaving the infirmities of time to another day.
What a concept.
Bernie Hornick is a reporter for The Tribune-Democrat.
Local News
Related Photos
-
Tribune-Democrat File Photo
Discussion
BERNIE HORNICK | Take Clark off as rocker
- Local News
-
- District Deaths May 28, 2012
-
Community Event is ‘fun for the kids’
The annual Johnstown Community Event held Saturday was a big hit in many ways.
-
Fielding interest: With new rec facility, leaders hope to sell old site
Borough Council leaders here find they are about to get into the real estate business, from the sellers’ end that is.
-
Richland weighs $2.1M offer for land
Richland School District officials will take time, likely a month, to weigh an Ohio developer’s Rachel Hill school land offer.
-
Officials cool on tax plan
Two state lawmakers from the area agree that a proposal to eliminate school property taxes with revenues from increases in the state personal income and state sales taxes has little chance of success anytime soon.
-
Portage store serves up a helping of history
Gone are the days when Schoenfeld’s Department Store sold ladies apparel, men’s suits and children’s shoes.
-
BILL EGGERT | Disco dancing days
-
BILL FINDLEY | Johnstown area is a great place for young adults to live and work
Looking for a great place to live and work? If you are like most people, your list would likely include a multitude of factors to consider in the selection process – such things as job opportunities, less stress, reasonable living costs, and plenty of fun things to do.
- Cambria County Court Report 05/27/2012
- Local business briefs 5/27/2012
- More Local News Headlines
Raw Video: Gay Protest Blocked in Moscow
Vatican in Chaos After Butler Arrested for Leaks
Jimmy Carter Endorses Egypt's Election Results
Biden Addresses West Point Graduating Class
Dozens of Children Killed in New Syria Attack
Raw Video: Activists Allege Massacre in Syria
NJ Man Charged With Murder in Death of Patz
Support, Fun for Kids of Fallen Soldiers at Camp
Fugitive Penguin Caught, Returned to Aquarium
50 Years Later, Underground Fire Still Burning
Light Show Transforms Sydney Opera House
Raw Video: Unruly Passenger Restrained in Miami
Raw Video: Robber Uses Drive-thru Window
Raw Video: Dragon Arrives at Space Station
Calif.'s Coronado Named Nation's Best Beach
CEO Salaries Become Sore Issue in Labor Disputes
