— Having been critical of the loss of a Johnstown Greyhound bus office, and also of as-yet-unsuccessful efforts to find a new location in town, I decided to educate myself on the system as it now exists.

What an eye-opener!

Let me say this: If there is a demand for bus service out of Johnstown, customers deserve a better system than the one in place now.

Without a local Greyhound office, you can’t walk up to a window and buy a bus ticket to get you from Johnstown to another location.

Having purchased airline tickets online, I figured the Internet would at least provide a way to purchase bus tickets. So I went to www.greyhound.com.

After closing a pop-up window that told me “The future of bus travel has arrived. Way ahead of schedule” (yeah, right), I attempted to purchase a round-trip ticket from Johnstown to State College and back.

After going through various steps that told me how much the ticket would cost and asked me which times I would like to depart and return, I encountered this message in red letters: “Online Purchase is not available for this schedule. The schedule(s) you have selected are not available for online purchase. You may purchase these tickets at your local Greyhound Station ...”

Which doesn’t exist.

Or, I could call Greyhound’s toll-free customer-service number, which I did.

After several electronic prompts from “Gracie,” my “virtual travel consultant” (“For buses leaving from Erie, press 1”), I finally got a real human being on the line.

Well, sort of.

Here’s a near-verbatim re-creation of that conversation, which often felt like an Abbott and Costello routine:

“Greyhound, how can I help you?”

“Hello. I’d like to purchase a ticket. I went to your web-site and attempted to do so using my credit card, but was told I couldn’t do that.”

“Then you’ll have to go to your local Greyhound station.”

“Well, you see, that’s the problem. There is no local Greyhound station, although the bus does stop here.”

“Where are you departing from.”

“Johnstown.”

“That’s Johnsontown ...”

“No. It’s Johnstown. That’s J-o-h-n-s-t-o-w-n.”

“Johnstown, Pennsylvania?”

“Sure. Why not.”

“Well, there’s no Greyhound station in Johnstown.”

“I’m aware of that. That’s why ...”

“So, you’ll have to purchase your ticket at the closest station, which is ... let me see ... Altoona.”

“Altoona?”

“That’s correct.”

“So I need to get in my car and drive an hour to Altoona, buy a bus ticket, then drive an hour back to Johnstown and get on a bus for a two-hour ride to State College that goes right through Altoona?”

“You don’t have to drive to Altoona.”

“Should I take a plane?”

“You can ride the bus to Altoona.”

“Without a ticket?”

“Excuse me?”

“Please just tell me how I can purchase a bus ticket that will get me from Johnstown to State College, and back.”

“You need to get on the bus in Johnstown ...”

“They’ll let me on without a ticket?”

“That’s correct. You need to have identification and sufficient cash to purchase your ticket ...”

“In Altoona?”

“Yes. The bus driver will allow you to board and you can get off the bus in Altoona and purchase your ticket when the bus stops there for five minutes.”

“Five minutes. Wow. That’s the best system you’ve got?”

“Yes it is–”

And I hung up.

I haven’t ridden a commercial bus line in years. And I don’t plan to do it anytime soon, thanks to this ludicrous setup.

But it seems clear that Johnstown needs a bus station, and those who need to catch the bus out of Johnstown deserve a better system than this.



Chip Minemyer is the editor of The Tribune-Democrat. He can be reached at 532-5091.